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Titles Out of Context

There's no getting around it: I am terrible at coming up with titles. Other people seem to be able to whip out a fragment of Shakespeare or some obscure poetry at will; I have to wait until I've finished the book and hand it to Sweetie, and then hash it out for hours until we come up with something tolerable. Even now the folder for Bubbles Pop is labeled "Cinderella," WIP-A is labeled "Beauty," and WIP-C "Comic Fluff."

But while I can't come up with titles to match stories, I'm pretty good going the other way around. The Evil Editor has a fun feature called "Guess the Plot," in which he tosses the title from a submitted query up for grabs and people come up with outrageous synopses to match. Because I'm feeling silly this morning, I felt like doing the same for some classic titles.

Great Expectations

Pip just started high school, and he had great expectations for the best four years of his life: football games, Driver's Ed, and a smoking hot girlfriend. He didn't expect arbitrary course requirements, mind-numbing standardized tests, or a vortex to another dimension in his locker.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Every morning, Scout Finch tears herself from the blessed escape of sleep to walk the dog, cook breakfast, fix lunches, and cater hand and foot to her demanding husband and ungrateful kids. All the while, those damn birds keep singing in the neighbor's eucalyptus...mocking her. But now Scout's got a chainsaw, and she's taking matters into her own hands. Who's chirping now?

The Fellowship of the Ring

PhD candidate Frodo Baggins and his peers are in a cutthroat competition for the Fellowship of the Ring, a $20k/year stipend for burgeoning chemists interested in cyclic organic compounds. But when someone starts cutting throats literally, Frodo must swap his lab coat and goggles for a sleuthing hat.

Charlotte's Web

Charlotte's best friend Wilbur committed suicide after some jerks called him gay on his Facebook wall. Armed with a 12-pack of Mountain Dew and a copy of Computer Hacking for Dummies, she's out for some serious trolling carnage. Move over, bullies, it's Charlotte's Web now.


Anonymous (April 29, 2012, 11:29 am)

Lisbeth Salander for Charlotte? interesting ...

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What is the first letter of "Arkansas"?